Love Is Not A Finite Resource


I can tell already, this is a topic I will continue to revisit for the remainder of my days. Love is … well — for starters God is Love. But dang, what does that even mean? — is a question and a subject that has been explored and twisted by many, including me, and seemingly for as long as we have had the written words available to us. I have been down the road of trying to understand and thinking of — Love being God — but that road did not comfort or satisfied the way I thought it should. Sure at a moment it felt and seemed to make perfect sense. If God is Love, than Love is God. But God is Love and is also more than that, and as I have traveled this life, there’s been more than Love. Please don’t twist my thoughts and try to interpret this as being a diminishing of the awesome and necessary and flat out perfection of perfect love. We are nothing without Love. There is no hope for us without Love. What I am saying is that, life is complicated and sometimes we don’t or can’t — see, feel, understand — or even give or receive love, and a one sided God could never do all that our God does, and all that we as human beings need. I am also saying that the idea of idolizing only one part of a whole is never a good idea, trust on me on this one, I’ve been there. (plenty of entries to come on that, lol)

There is a time for everything as it is written — which by the way is also NOT the whole story. But to deny it or not consider it? It is surely a part of what we experience in life, and does that not in itself, reveal its truth and relevance? I don’t like the end of the Ecclesiastes book, to think that it all comes down to the idea that our work should be our contentment is difficult to accept — especially if you are someone who has no idea what the heck your work is supposed to be — but I can’t deny it either, because the moments when you do know your purpose, contentment follows every time. When you really meditate on the words, you start to get the message that it’s not really about his struggle or his resolution that work is contentment, but more that it is pointing us to the fact that it is ok question and understand that we experience more than Love in this life. Maybe even necessary, though nobody I know likes hearing that. Anger, impatience, doubt, worry, hate, war, death, mourning? Ugh. (every sad emoji face available)

And then this light streams in — Love is not a finite resource!

Wow and Hallelujah. Why did that not occur to me before today, in the way that it is occurring to me right now? Why did I miss such a seemingly simple thing? It seems like life 101. But clearly the one who loves me like no one ever could, knew I needed to really know this truth. And gifted me again with the deeper understanding that everything I need will come when i need it. But Kimberly, you’ve read those words a million times in a million different ways — you get it — but clearly I did not get it ALL until now, and at the same time HE whispers to tell me, there’s an eternal understanding I could meditate on forever and never know it all. Unlike the shoes on my feet, Love will never wear out.

I can’t tell you how much that dispels the chaos trying to destroy me every minute of the day, especially now during this wretched awful mourning and grieving I find myself having to face. My brother, Bret, went home to the Lord on New Years Eve 2023 after a brutal and way-too-quick reckoning to his end from pancreatic cancer — not only that, but also a separation from his children. I refrain from writing anything that can’t be taken back regarding the situation and with every breath and fiber of my being give it to the one who can make a way, because HE IS the way maker. But damn — it friggin hurts like hell. I have never experienced such painful loss in my whole life.

So how the hell do I start again? How do I move forward in a life that has never been without him in it? He is one of very few people who can claim that, along with only my Mom and Dad. How do I make it ok?

My faith is my only answer. Jesus has also been with me from the beginning, is now, and always will — and I am eternally thankful that it is a true faith in a true God, who lives up to his word. This faith is the only gift worth everything to pass on. I could not make it without God and this faith he gifts to anyone and everyone who seeks it. I cannot imagine having to face this alone. It’s also something that is so beyond me. I do not have in my earthly capacity the ability to retain the faith given to me. But I can’t move without it. So by his grace and his knowing me, he knows what and when and how to provide what is needed, and though I am still in the darkness of this mourning, everyday a little more light gets in. And my faith makes me know — somehow — someway — it’ll be ok, because the one who gives me life promises it will be, and he is faithful. Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” Isaiah 7:14/Matthew 1:23 Immanuel = God With Us!

I do not need to stop loving my brother because he is gone from my sight, because love is not a finite resource. My love for my brother will never change and will be forever. My love for him does not take space away or diminish my love for others, it is eternal, I can continue to love as many people as I ever want or am able, without worry or without loss of supply because — the source of love is infinite!

So I’ll hold a space for him in my heart, until we meet again. What else can I feel but grateful and blessed for such a gift.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For reference:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. 11He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. 12I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. 13And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. 14I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. 15That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

16And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, that wickedness was there; and the place of righteousness, that iniquity was there. 17I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work. 18I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts. 19For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity. 20All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again. 21Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth? 22Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

John 15:13
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 8 
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who[a] do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be [b]carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the [c]carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. 10 And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies [d]through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Sonship Through the Spirit

12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba,[e] Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

From Suffering to Glory

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of [f]corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23 Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession [g]for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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  1. Again, so sorry for your loss. You will see Bret in the fullness of time. While the pain of losing him will never completely go away, it will lessen. Another thing about love….it cannot be destroyed.
    As for Scripture, it should be read through Christ…what he said and what is said about about him Remember what he says in John’s Gospel…I am the Resurrection and the Life.

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